


Sometimes We Must Crack

by QueenCarol



Series: Fighting For The Moments [6]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Carzekiel, Episode tie-in, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 10:08:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16637915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenCarol/pseuds/QueenCarol
Summary: Rick has died but Carol still wakes up with nightmares that rock her to the core.  Ezekiel reminds her that it is alright to crack.





	Sometimes We Must Crack

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:
> 
> Carol Peletier, Sophia Peletier, King Ezekiel, Henry, Jerry, Shiva, and any other recognizable character or plot of The Walking Dead belong to AMC Network and Skybound Entertainment, Image Comics and Robert Kirkman.
> 
> In no way is the author claiming ownage of any of the characters nor is there any economical/monetary gain at any time. The author is extremely respectful of the original creators and is willing to take down this work of fiction if requested.
> 
> No copyright infringement intended.

“I hate being this weak.” Carol mumbles, her voice still shaky and raw from having screamed loudly in the middle of the night.

They’d both been sleeping, Carol curled around Ezekiel with her head pillowed on his strong chest, Ezekiel holding her hand against his chest, right over his heart. They always sleep wrapped around each other; it made them feel safe and protected, knowing the other person was right there besides them. Their bodies, despite the height difference, or perhaps because of them, seem to fit perfectly together.

She started whimpering out of nowhere, her brow furrowing as her dreams turned into nightmares. Ezekiel woke up to her sounds and jerking movements. He immediately knew that she was in the middle of a nightmare and quickly tried to calm her. Her trashing had slowed down and so had her whimpering which made him think they were in the clear, but out of nowhere she had let out a huge scream which had woken her and possibly half of Kingdom.

Henry had burst through the door, stick in hand, ready to protect his parents from whatever was attacking them. Instead he fell quiet as he saw his father tend to his mother, who sat shaking and crying in the middle of the bed.

“Nothing is amiss, son.” Ezekiel promised him. Knowing that his father was taking care of his mother, Henry had gone back to bed, yawning all the way.

“You are not weak.” Ezekiel assures her, his hand gently smoothing down her back in a circular motion. 

“Waking up with nightmares in the middle of the night is not my idea of strength.” She mumbles. Her hands pass over her arms, trying to get the nightmare filled chill out of her limbs. 

“We do not choose what we dream of, my love.” He switches from smoothing his hand on her back to down her arms, trying to bring warmth to were she most needs it. “Our minds flutter in our sleep, dealing with that which pains us.”

“I wish mine dealt with it much better.” She slumps visibly, as if all the strength has simply left her body. 

“Was it..?”

“Rick.” Carol agrees with him without letting him finish. “It’s been a year already and it still... hurts like if it was yesterday.”

He wishes, not for the first time, that he could take her pain away. He can’t make the past go away but he can certainly make her future one of happiness. He’ll die trying if he has to.

“Perhaps it is that you have been unable to let go of him fully.” He offers as a possibility. “Mourning isn’t a clear path, Carol. It is a valley of highs and lows and we must travel the road as it comes to us.”

Carol sniffles slightly before turning slightly and pressing herself against him, leaning against his strong body for support. Ezekiel wraps an arm around her, his hand resting on her hip as she pillows her head against his chest.

“I know.” She admits, closing her eyes against the world and the pain of having lost Rick. “Just wish it would not come so often. I want to focus on the good... on the life we’re building, on Henry, on Kingdom, but it always sneaks up on me.”

“That is understandable, my love. No one will hold it against you, no matter how often it happens. Rick was your friend, your family.” He promises, landing a kiss on her forehead.

Tilting her head slightly back, Carol looks at him, her blue eyes filled with need. “Will you hold me?” She whispers her request. “All night?”

Ezekiel grins at her. It isn’t often that Carol asks for something she needs. He knows it comes from the years of hard work she’s had to do, from always being the one to serve instead of the one to receive. He doesn’t fault her for it, he can’t, it is part of who she is. Instead, he awaits patiently for moments like this when she finally expresses her raw needs because he can then reassure her and give her what she needs, and if she allows, even pamper her. 

Nodding, he then moves them around until they are laying on the bed, cuddled together, facing each other. “I will hold you all my life if you need me to.” He promises before giving her a soft kiss. Carol smiles against his lips before nudging his nose with hers then burying against him. “Close your eyes, my Queen, I will guard your dreams with my life.”

In his arms Carol finds sleep infused with hopes for the future; a happy future besides her husband and son.

~~~

It’s early morning when she wakes up, stretching her body as a cat would before burying herself in their blankets, her body instinctively reaching for her husband. She frowns when she finds cold sheets instead of Ezekiel’s warm body.

“Zeke?” She mumbles in confusion. 

“Over here, my Queen.” She hears his tender voice. Incorporating herself, she turns slightly to look over the fluff of blankets and the end of their bed. A smile breaks on her lips as she finds her husband with his back towards her, dressed only in his underwear, painting something on the wall.

Sliding out of bed, she quickly travels the space between them. “What are you doing?” She asks as she stops behind him, her arms wrapping around his waist, her chin resting on his shoulder as she looks at the wall.

There’s been a crack there for as long as she can remember, and now her husband is using it to help her. “At times we crack only to let the light in.” She reads.

“Good morning.” He whispers, turning to look at her, paint pot in one hand and brush in the other. There’s a smudge of black paint on his chocolate skin which she can’t help but try and clean.

“Good morning, husband.” 

“My heart sings to the heavens when you bless me with that title.” Ezekiel admits before putting down paint and brush and turning to embrace her.

“Then I’ll call you that more often, my husband.” She says as she moves to cup his cheek, her thumb sweeping back and forth. They share a sweet morning kiss before she leans against his chest, her eyes tracing the gentle brushstrokes he has placed on the stone wall as he cradles her close. “Is that for me?”

“Yes,” Ezekiel answers. “A daily affirmation to remind you that what you perceive as weakness is the most powerful of strengths. It is only through the breaking of our soul that we are reborn.”

Carol remains silent for the longest time, staring at the words, saying them over and over in her head, tattooing them in her mind. She knows Ezekiel has drawn them in front of their bed so that it is one of the first things she sees when she wakes. It warms her soul to know that Ezekiel, her husband, her King, loves her so much and knows her so well, that he does something as this without her even knowing she needed it.

Pulling back she tips her head back and smiles at her husband. “Thank you.”

He beams at her words and gives her a soft nod. “Ready to face the day, my wife?” He asks her, letting his arms move from around her in order to offer her a hand to hold.

Carol takes a deep breath and nods. For the first time since Rick’s death she thinks that she might be. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”


End file.
